Loneliness is something just a few people like psychologists understand because they deal with matters of the brains.
Sometimes, we give less importance to loneliness because we feel it is just an empty void that we can fill at any time we want. Just a few lonely people can accept that they are actually lonely. They believe that the void would surely be filled. “It’s just a matter of time” they always say. But is it really?
Now sometimes, pain from one, two or more circumstances creates a great void which becomes a very big hole in our hearts. That void becomes a pit we yearn to fill. It becomes the urge to feel the presence of others in our lives, to feel we are actually treasured, if not just noticed or wanted.
In our quest to fill such pits we chase after things we can never get our hands on, but we think we can. Then when we don’t, we feel betrayed, abandoned and lonelier than ever. The more we chase after those the more the void opens because the disappointment becomes greater than the initial.
At other times, we build a small comfortable house of loneliness in our hearts and it becomes our comfort zone. We never want to leave that little house, because we call it a “home”. But what kind of home is it? A home of less expectation, expectations full of disappointments, doubts and uneasiness!
One thing we must realize is that as long as we are unwilling to leave that “home” we are never going to recognize that that particular void has already been filled. It is hard to recognize the outside world when the inside world feels better. But is it really better?
The best is out there. Those who are waiting for us are out there. There are so many dreams that can’t wait for our “homes” to be unlocked. It is hard; that I’m sure of but never impossible. The longer we wait, the harder it becomes.
Let’s not wait till we are beyond self-repair. The trick is simple: let go, embrace the new, expect more, wait not for disappointment, but consider disappointment a learning stage and triumph. I don’t know how intense yours is right now but I can assure you that there is no better cure for loneliness than yourself.
Close your eyes to those pit diggers, don’t pretend they don’t exist, but do not give them too much importance. Let them slide as fast as possible so that you can handle yourself fully, minus them. I trust you are too bulky to be even handled by yourself, let alone plus unnecessary things.
Shake it off, let go, think less about the irrelevant, tarry with the important. Then guess what you’ll become: a great therapist.
PS: Remember that I’m not experienced, just inspired.